1. |
STANDING ON MY FEET
01:12
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all I want to know is, how much do you hate yourself? All I want to know is, why do you need me to hate myself? It's un-resolution, far from solution, what's the solution, there's no solution. I can't help you help yourself. Show me more, but not more of this. I want more, but not more of this. Left behind, not self-sufficient, bleak promises ring in my head. Stand back until you work this out and don't drag me down. You can't stand on my feet and ask me why I'm not moving on.
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2. |
CATHEXIS
01:42
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I am terrified constantly from being taught I am too much to be loved by the people who told me they loved me most.
I can't teach you how to feel it. I thought I could show you how to feel it. I think part of me knew that you couldn't see me as any more than a faint outline of yourself. I'm here; are you?
I was your mud to mold and manipulate. You say you do this in whose best interest? I move forward and you just move on.
Don't leave me in the dark. It was so lonely being with you. It was fucking lonely being with you.
Don't call it love; it's just cathexis.
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3. |
I HATE FUCKING
00:52
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I'm living in fear but isn't that always the way that it goes? I trust no one but isn't that always the way that it goes? Another problem I can't solve, you can't trust yourself to trust the right ones. God I hate fucking. When people treat you like you have to prove something, god I hate fucking. I can't sleep around it.
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4. |
SURVIVOR
01:45
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We have been holding these hurts to our chests. We aren't letting this go away. We owe you nothing, you owe us everything. We are your problem now. Get out of our house, get off of our stage, take a fucking look at yourself. We are not who you have made us. We all know your goddamn rap sheet. We owe you nothing, you owe us everything. We are taking back what's ours. If you still want to call yourself a "good guy," get out of my face, make something of yourself. Don't wait for someone to tell you again. Don't make me tell you again. We will survive you.
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5. |
TALKING TO MYSELF
00:54
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The only time I ever lied was every time I said I was okay. I'm sorry I'm not better. Maybe I should be better. Crying in offices rewriting my past, relearning to feel it all. I can't employ someone to save me. I have to do it myself. When was the last time I had an honest conversation with my body?
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PLASTIC HEAP Columbus, Ohio
"shitty freaks in a straight-ass world"
- MRR
kk they/them
moira she/her
patrick he/him
alex he/him
OCT 9 2015 - OCT 19 2017
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